Sunday, January 30, 2011

The One Where Jenni Dissects A Facebook Post

Jennifer H Z The trailer park sangria has left its mark on the inner workings of my brain... Or it could be the benedryl I had to take to consume the puppy chow, or the pain meds after you tried to kill me... Come to think of it, that's quite the combination and maybe my day will start a bit better if I go back to bed and take a do-over in a couple hours. Wanna go with me to the Store today, Rach? I've gotta buy cereal and cherry. Juice- two different stores. Let me know.
Yesterday at 6:28am ·
Hello Friends,
  This blog entry will be one like you may have never seen before.  It may be one I've never seen before, and I guarantee it will be one like I've never done before, and may never do again.  Never say never, though because this, I promise you, is good stuff.  It may be full of innuendo and inside jokes, but feel free to jump right in and pretend to understand the jokes, laugh at the innuendo and just roll with the punches... that is, after all, what this whole thing is about.
   The day started normally enough...actually, refer to my last blog entry... it really was an awful day... but bad days happen and most of the day was mentally stressful, but not all in all a terrible part of the day.  SO... Needless to say, I was SO looking forward to my "date" night with my friend Rachel.  This requires explanation as well... (and it might get complicated because not everyone comes from the place that Rachel and I (and a good number of my blog readers) come from... I will explain momentarily, the ones who are "there" will totally get it and end up wetting themselves in fits of maniacal laughter, and the rest of you, God love yah's all... you poor things will just think WE'RE the crazy ones....but at least you'll get a glimpse into the alternate universe that we live in.   Oh.... where to start?
 In the famous and profound words of Glinda (the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz), "It's aways best to start at the beginning..."   So, 29 years ago, in the town of.... oh, wait... that might be a little *too* beginning... How's about we start at the planning stages of "date night"?  That'll do nicely.
I was complaining about our (endless) Winter, (endless) cloudy skies and my general funk attitude because of the lack of what I see as proper sunshine.  My wonderful neighbor and friend Rachel (now, remember, out in the sticks, "neighbor" is a relative term, we live precisely 2.1 miles away from each other, so it isn't like "knock knock, can I borrow a cup of coconut oil" type of neighbor)  But we are ARE the kind of neighbors who keep tabs on each other and will run down (in -273* weather at 2 in the morning, just sayin') some good cough syrup and a completely legal sleep aid when we see each other wide awake and posting on facebook that one of us does NOT have Ass Leprosy, but has Lung Leprosy (not as itchy a condition, but equally uncomfortable to be certain)  OK, so we have a friendship going on here, it is safe to say.
 So...Rach says she's gonna pray for me and my cabin fever, and I agree that I'm going to pray for her too (OK, listen... This really IS the quick version... some details can't be skipped without losing the integrity of the story), so we (and this is entirely via facebook and text, which actually makes it even funnier because... well...suffice it to say I'm not showing you all of the texts and fb messages) OK... so  somewhere in the conversation, Rach says we should do another movie night.  I suggest that I've wanted to see Dinner for Schmucks and we both LOL'd and agreed to meet for the aforementioned movie and wine and some kind of baked goods that was yet to be determined.  Good Stuff.   So as the week (S-L-O-W-L-Y) progressed, I was looking more and more forward to our movie/date night. 
 OK.... here's where the kind of cultural/funny part comes in that some of you just might not get.  The Shmoms and the Shmerrys (names changed to preserve privacy) are a couple of "THOSE" Families.  Come ON... you know the ones... The Christian, Homeschooling, birth your babies at home, grow your own food, butcher your own meat, drink raw milk, natural type families.  So, I knew full well that when I was going to mine and Rachel's movie girl's "date" night, that there would be plenty of other Shmerrys there as well... it is just what we do.  If I didn't need a break from all of my little (and bigger) Shmoms, Rach would have come over here with the same expectation... it really is all about family and watching a movie and laughing is universal. Really, it is, right?  Kind of.  The comedy comes in when you've got a 9 year old (up past most 9 year old's bed times - but remember, we're homeschoolers and schedules are pretty much up for grabs... our kids can do math at noon just as easily as they can at 8 in the morning), so this 9 year old (poor, poor, 'unsocialized' girl) was interacting with me (29), her two older sisters (one 16 and the other is amazingly 29 as well - you know how "us" families are too... lots of kids, widely separated ages... just how it is) and I think, probably the best part is that Dad and Mom (a midwife, of course) were there as well... now Mom was upstairs TRYING to work (no one was in labor, I think she was grading papers) and Dad was watching the movie with us.  SO, now I've explained the family dynamics of how "THOSE" families operate....we do things as a family.
 OK, so before we even start the movie, I get there with the knowledge that Rach has obtained the movie and the wine.  Which she dubbed (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE AT ALL, see the comedy, feel the love) "Trailer Park Wine" - a large quantity of wine in a box.   So I show up with a tupperware container full of a fruit and juice mix to make "Trailer Park Sangria", of course, to go with the movie.  I also showed up with a gallon ziplock bag full of puppy chow.  Anyone who doesn't know what puppy chow is - look it up and do yourself a favor and make it because it is seriously yummy... and make it with extra peanut butter - our theory is that it is healthier that way - (although if you're allergic to peanuts I might advise against this) its just a theory, so we went with it.  It also has chocolate in it...and I do happen to be allergic to chocolate, so I pre-medicated with benedryl and pepcid (yes, its a stomach med, but it is also an antihistamine) so that I could consume some of the puppy chow with limited hives and throat swelling - which can ruin a date night in a hurry. But I digress... so we mix up our Trailer Park Sangria (just Rach and I, although Dad would have been welcome to as well, but I suppose someone had to watch us crazy kids.)  And started the movie.  Well... started the DVD.... we didn't actually start the movie for another 20 minutes (between previews and laughing and mogging on puppy chow and the strange sensation I was experiencing - the bizarre mix of benedryl and Trailer Park Sangria and obnoxious amounts of giggling.)  I think it was Rachel who actually realized that we should probably start the movie at some point.  So we started the movie and just laughed maniacally at every single mouse taxidermy joke, every mouse taxidermy scene, just, in general laughed...the movie was full of amazing one liners ("A mind is a terrible thing."   "You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not." - THAT, my friends, is good stuff!)
So, eventually, the movie gets to the dinner (wayyyy too much "NOT dinner for Schmucks" scenes in the movie.)  And the entire time, Rachel and I are texting and facebooking one-liners to each other (I don't need to remind you that we are sitting on the same sofa, do I?)  So, things like "Are you looking down my dress? Why Not?" were followed by "There is puppy chow in my bra"  and well, my friends... that was one night that got WAYYYY out of hand.  The both of us had two FULL glasses of Trailer Park Sangria... we were really living dangerously.  (Rach, we do NOT have to mention that they were beer steins... but TOTALLY still glasses - OK?) 
 The best part of the night had not even begun.  So, movie's over, we're still sputtering a little about taking care of our birds and goats (which I had to go home to do...) and I mention getting into the car and turning the tushie warmer on (AGAIN, MY FRIENDS.... I HAD TWO GLASSES OF WINE OVER NEARLY 3 HOURS, DILUTED WITH JUICE - I DO NOT CONDONE DRUNK DRIVING AND WAS NOT DRIVING DRUNK...needed to be said) and one way or the other, Rachel, that wonderful Shmerry woman, told me to lay down on my tummy on the floor in the living room and she proceeded to try to kill me.  Poor Mama Shmerry (NOT delivering a baby upstairs) was probably pretty darned sorry she had to work and was missing this party.  The gutteral screams of pain radiating out of my mouth at the action of Rachel Shmerry's elbow grinding into my sacro-iliac joint sent shock waves throughout the entire township.  We determined quickly that I am not an "elbow girl".... a good thing to know.  I also learned that when Rachel Shmerry presses on pressure point (trigger point?) #27, it is a very, very bad thing.  And I do NOT mean Trailer Park Sangria bad... I mean, like... yeah... like the college party where you and a friend thought drinking a whole bottle of sour apple pucker between the two of you would be a really good idea... yeah... like THAT bad.
  So, my friends.... This is the WHOLE story (almost, I left the really embarrassing parts out) of that one little fb post.  The whole point of this is not a couple of silly 30-somethings 29 year olds getting together and being silly.  The point is that when friends, neighbors, sisters in Christ, sisters are having a tough time, fellowship can be so healing and refreshing.  Everyone's idea of a cleansing looks different.  I'd venture to say that to many people, the evening I just described would definitely NOT count as a de-stressing night out.   Fellowship and prayer in the middle of a dark time is what we need.  We need to come together and embrace in fellowship.  It doesn't matter if the "dark" time is literally, as in Rachel's and my case, because it is so stinkin' dark out and we need some sunlight, it can be a dark time because of any number of personal issues.  The solution is the same for all... SONLIGHT.   We need to surround ourselves with brothers and sisters who shine the light of Jesus and who appreciate us for us shining His light as well.  When the lights come together, the joy can begin.  We can remember why, even through the darkness, we can be the light and we can continue to be content through times when we might not necessarily be "happy".  Being content in the Joy of the Lord is my goal... even if I feel I'm in the physical darkness, His Joy is in me and I desire His LIGHT to shine from me to others.


  1. "I laughed, I cried - it moved me, Bob!" Great post! It was awesome reliving the events of our epic movie night through your humorous and insightful take on it. I am a firm believer that two of God's greatest gifts to us are friendship and fun! I appreciate your friendship so much! P.S. Sorry I didn't see your post about going to the store - I subscribed to your blog (I thought) but I don't get notifications when you maybe i need to do something different?

  2. Oh, and I think you slightly misunderstood the intent behind the elbow grinding into #27. I was trying to HELP you, not kill you. But you know the saying, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Love ya!