Here I sit at 4:30 in the morning. After waking up over an hour ago with just the slightest remnants of my migraine hangover, I thought I'd get a big glass of water and play Tetris until I got sleepy... go back to bed and that would be that. I love it when my thoughts turn to the impossible - I know full well I won't be going back to sleep after chugging 20 ounces of anything! It sounded good on paper, though.
I'm finally going to start doing the food journal to try to narrow down what is causing these migraines. I usually have one or two a year, but have, sadly, had four or five in the past couple of months. It is rough on the system. I'm thankful that I'm able to function in between the headaches and that they are not daily, but when these happen, the amount of dread that goes along with them is really overwhelming. And then... just when I think it is over...the hangover. Definitely not as horrible as the headache itself, but it brings with it a nagging reminder that my brain has a mind of it's own and that I have no control over what is going on at the moment. Being very acutely aware of this right at this moment, having just come out of a doozy of an episode, well, suffice it to say I'm grateful to be and the tail end of this again.
I'm also acutely aware of being able to function, or rather being UNable to function during these attacks. There is not much happening with me other than laying in the dark, praying silently and suffering through a seemingly endless amount of the most painful thing I've ever experienced. This is where the rubber meets the road...this is when good preparation comes in handy. We combined households with my parents over 7 years ago, so I have the benefit of having my mom and dad here. I am usually the one who cooks meals, but, of course, Mom steps in and takes over in the kitchen when I am unable. I'm so grateful for the help when I need it, because, we all know, kids need to eat and even when my world comes screeching to a halt temporarily, there would be mass chaos if we didn't manage to get them fed! So...rubber meets the road? (What do you mean, Crazy Woman? Your mother is cooking for you!) Grandma is stepping into a prepared kitchen. A thoughtfully stocked pantry and freezer - a meal ready to be put together with minimal thought, if need be. Even with limited convenience foods, a healthful meal can easily be made with just a bit of time and elbow grease. Making mixes (baking mix - add milk and you've got biscuits, add egg and milk and you've got pancake or waffle batter, rice mixes- prepare the rice and add the homemade seasoning and you've got rice pilaf to go with dinner, cake and brownie mixes - follow the directions and you've got a dessert without preservatives or chemicals) ahead of time, making sure that we have staples, flours, rices, vegetables in the fridge and freezer... it makes my job easier, and in the event that Grandma needs to step in, it allows the transition to happen seamlessly. Another thing that has been prepared? The children. They get plenty of time to do their own thing. I get in the mix and play with them, of course, but they know how to entertain themselves and can play quietly as well. I've always felt that it is not my job to entertain the children endlessly. And because of this, they can happily play with each other as well as by themselves. They know that sometimes, especially when someone is sick, that I'm not available to play a game or even read a book with them. If I'm tending to a sick child (and my boys... aye... they can get sick. And when you've been through some of the things they've been through, you know I don't mean they have a cold. So, if I say sick, you can assume that someone is having seizures, not regaining consciousness, has a 104.6* fever or is bleeding profusely... you can understand why having the ability to keep children occupied by themselves for a bit is a useful tool in preparation), sometimes it is necessary to tell the other boys that they need to be in the other room playing. The boys also know that if I'm getting a migraine, that keeping noise to a minimum is important. Even so, it is hard for Sam (who is 6) to not cuddle Mama, not talk endlessly (still working on him, he still thinks he needs to verbalize EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT that pops into his head ♥) and not be able to jump around and squeal with joy at every little thing. So today, after two days of limited cuddle time, today will be a Sammy gets to cuddle on Mama all day kind of a day.
Later today, I'll be posting a couple recipes that I wanted to get up yesterday but just couldn't muster typing them out in front of the glaring computer screen. Raw peanut sauce (over zucchini and cucumber noodles) and carrot cake were big hits here yesterday. The carrot cake takes some time to make, and was, honestly, a bit difficult for me to follow in my mental fog, I make it occasionally, but it is a time intensive recipe, so yesterday probably wasn't the best day to make it. But it did get made, everyone loved it and I'm glad to put away that recipe for another 6 months. I just made the peanut sauce for the first time yesterday. I needed an easy lunch because I really wasn't feeling like cooking, so I adapted a peanut sauce that we use for Asian noodles... the addition of ginger and hot pepper flakes made a wonderful sauce that went beautifully over fresh zucchini and cucumber "noodles".
The slow life comes in handy more than occasionally here. We have been able, to a large degree, to cut ourselves off from the frenetic pace of the world. I think we have a good balance in our home. We still are a busy, active family, the twins have a basketball game and a baseball practice tonight, so we don't cut ourselves off from life or friends or busy-ness, but it is nice to know that, if we need to, we can be content with not running all over the place and doing a million different things, just for the sake of keeping busy. There is plenty to do around here without adding societal expectations to the to-do list.