Monday, January 24, 2011

Life in the Icky Lane (Funny) Farm Reality

Hello Friends,

  So far, you've received the nice pleasantries of life on the (Funny) Farm.  This morning... the bitter, gross, icky, cold, stark reality of (Funny) Farm life reared it's ugly head.  Good news, no one is injured, I'm breathing better, animals are all OK, if not slightly embarrassed by the indignity of it all.

   I got up a little bit later than usual, after having gone to bed around 4 a.m. (Actually, I fell asleep during the football game and then woke up and stayed up way too late), so the doggies were gracious enough to allow me to sleep in a little bit.  Once we got downstairs, as per the usual routine (that is not allowed to be altered NO MATTER WHAT!) I get their leashes on them (Daniel took So Big, so I just had So Great and So Pretty to walk) and we went outside to let them do their business.  It is actually a nice day.  Cold, but not as bone-chilling damp cold as it has been.  But then all heck breaks loose.  First, I start wheezing, no biggie, I'll get inside in a minute and things on the respiratory front can calm down.  Next, Daniel got excited to find an egg (in the Winter, it is like an Easter Egg Hunt) and he held it up and Lyla (So Pretty) got excited and pulled me over, so I fell on my tuchis in the ice and snow (no worries - plenty of padding, I'm uninjured).  Then, I realize what is taking Henry (So Great) so long to do his business. UGH.  NOT TODAY.  Now, I'm not going to go into great detail here because it really is a horrible thing.  But imagine a Cockapoo (a rescued Cockapoo who gets skitterish and jittery at the sight of scissors and clippers) who hasn't had a good, close haircut in a while.  This minor veterinary emergency always (ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS) happens at THE MOST inopportune time, the last two times it has been on a Sunday morning right before church.  Today, right at the moment I'm starting to have an asthma attack and still have a cold and am gagging at the smell of the brewing coffee. Fantastic Timing, Henry.  I love you. 

  So....get dogs in, keep So Great on his leash and run him upstairs to the tub, get gloves on, doggie shampoo and scissors out, run the water and get the devil dog (only devil dog when it comes to scissors, bath time and me donning gloves in his presence) into the tub, wheezing the entire time.  Did I mention that I love my Henry? 

  Fortunately, this story ends well.  Henry's little problem has been remedied.  I was able to get downstairs to a hot cup of tea and an inhaler.  And a very loud little Sammy, who is recuperating well.  He still screams every time I put out his medicine for him (still on antibiotic for his ear and throat infection) "MEDICINE IS MINE ENEMY!!!"  It is very endearing.  So, poor Sammy, again, being a very loud little boy, is recovering from  the ear infections, but his hearing is not good right now.  This isn't the selective hearing issue that my boys seem to have on a regular basis, but the kid just can't hear me.  So he's dumping out every lego he has onto the wood floor and screaming at his ninja lego guys (who were in a vicious battle with the star wars lego guys) and I can't breathe and keep encouraging him to hush a bit through my wheezes.  And eventually, he realizes I'm standing there and says "MOMMY!" and comes and gives me a hug.  I've been talking to myself, wheezing, coughing and sputtering "shhhh" for 5 minutes.  But at least he's happy to see me.  And Henry can do his business again.  And I'm breathing.  OH... and the van is fixed.  So, all in all, it was a messy, stinky, wheezy, deaf kind of a morning, but by 10:27 a.m. I've accomplished quite a bit and now we are, I think, ready to move onto bread making, lunch and dinner prep and getting school work done.  Be well, my friends. Be safe.  Be blessed.  Give your dogs haircuts before it becomes vitally necessary. ♥


  1. thanks for the good morning chuckle,sweetie!

  2. There must be something in the air. My day starts before dawn with the yelling, Soaked son and bed, short sleep to be interupted by baby cries, To be continued with the inablity for my son to sleep if he thinks he needs to go poo, he is just plain hyper. Time to gathering my flock and dropping off the daddy for work at what Bridget calls, "in the middle of the night". Oh the joys of one car family. To return home the the false hope, they COULD go to bed, but the poo has not arrived. Off to school, of course work phone a ringing, Bridget's asking, "what does this spell?" baby demanding and finally poop. So this was my moring all before 8am, to think there is a whole lot more day left, with more possiblities...

  3. Oh Jen! What a crazy messy wonderful kind of day! Nice to know I'm not the only Mama that deals with that type of thing. I wub you so much, ya stinky deaf wheezer! Thanks for sharing your life with the rest of us!

  4. How sad is it that I can imagine every bit of that happening! I love ya hope things have slowed down a little and youre able to breathe...litterally