Hello Friends,
Here I sit at 4:30 in the morning. After waking up over an hour ago with just the slightest remnants of my migraine hangover, I thought I'd get a big glass of water and play Tetris until I got sleepy... go back to bed and that would be that. I love it when my thoughts turn to the impossible - I know full well I won't be going back to sleep after chugging 20 ounces of anything! It sounded good on paper, though.
I'm finally going to start doing the food journal to try to narrow down what is causing these migraines. I usually have one or two a year, but have, sadly, had four or five in the past couple of months. It is rough on the system. I'm thankful that I'm able to function in between the headaches and that they are not daily, but when these happen, the amount of dread that goes along with them is really overwhelming. And then... just when I think it is over...the hangover. Definitely not as horrible as the headache itself, but it brings with it a nagging reminder that my brain has a mind of it's own and that I have no control over what is going on at the moment. Being very acutely aware of this right at this moment, having just come out of a doozy of an episode, well, suffice it to say I'm grateful to be and the tail end of this again.
I'm also acutely aware of being able to function, or rather being UNable to function during these attacks. There is not much happening with me other than laying in the dark, praying silently and suffering through a seemingly endless amount of the most painful thing I've ever experienced. This is where the rubber meets the road...this is when good preparation comes in handy. We combined households with my parents over 7 years ago, so I have the benefit of having my mom and dad here. I am usually the one who cooks meals, but, of course, Mom steps in and takes over in the kitchen when I am unable. I'm so grateful for the help when I need it, because, we all know, kids need to eat and even when my world comes screeching to a halt temporarily, there would be mass chaos if we didn't manage to get them fed! So...rubber meets the road? (What do you mean, Crazy Woman? Your mother is cooking for you!) Grandma is stepping into a prepared kitchen. A thoughtfully stocked pantry and freezer - a meal ready to be put together with minimal thought, if need be. Even with limited convenience foods, a healthful meal can easily be made with just a bit of time and elbow grease. Making mixes (baking mix - add milk and you've got biscuits, add egg and milk and you've got pancake or waffle batter, rice mixes- prepare the rice and add the homemade seasoning and you've got rice pilaf to go with dinner, cake and brownie mixes - follow the directions and you've got a dessert without preservatives or chemicals) ahead of time, making sure that we have staples, flours, rices, vegetables in the fridge and freezer... it makes my job easier, and in the event that Grandma needs to step in, it allows the transition to happen seamlessly. Another thing that has been prepared? The children. They get plenty of time to do their own thing. I get in the mix and play with them, of course, but they know how to entertain themselves and can play quietly as well. I've always felt that it is not my job to entertain the children endlessly. And because of this, they can happily play with each other as well as by themselves. They know that sometimes, especially when someone is sick, that I'm not available to play a game or even read a book with them. If I'm tending to a sick child (and my boys... aye... they can get sick. And when you've been through some of the things they've been through, you know I don't mean they have a cold. So, if I say sick, you can assume that someone is having seizures, not regaining consciousness, has a 104.6* fever or is bleeding profusely... you can understand why having the ability to keep children occupied by themselves for a bit is a useful tool in preparation), sometimes it is necessary to tell the other boys that they need to be in the other room playing. The boys also know that if I'm getting a migraine, that keeping noise to a minimum is important. Even so, it is hard for Sam (who is 6) to not cuddle Mama, not talk endlessly (still working on him, he still thinks he needs to verbalize EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT that pops into his head ♥) and not be able to jump around and squeal with joy at every little thing. So today, after two days of limited cuddle time, today will be a Sammy gets to cuddle on Mama all day kind of a day.
Later today, I'll be posting a couple recipes that I wanted to get up yesterday but just couldn't muster typing them out in front of the glaring computer screen. Raw peanut sauce (over zucchini and cucumber noodles) and carrot cake were big hits here yesterday. The carrot cake takes some time to make, and was, honestly, a bit difficult for me to follow in my mental fog, I make it occasionally, but it is a time intensive recipe, so yesterday probably wasn't the best day to make it. But it did get made, everyone loved it and I'm glad to put away that recipe for another 6 months. I just made the peanut sauce for the first time yesterday. I needed an easy lunch because I really wasn't feeling like cooking, so I adapted a peanut sauce that we use for Asian noodles... the addition of ginger and hot pepper flakes made a wonderful sauce that went beautifully over fresh zucchini and cucumber "noodles".
The slow life comes in handy more than occasionally here. We have been able, to a large degree, to cut ourselves off from the frenetic pace of the world. I think we have a good balance in our home. We still are a busy, active family, the twins have a basketball game and a baseball practice tonight, so we don't cut ourselves off from life or friends or busy-ness, but it is nice to know that, if we need to, we can be content with not running all over the place and doing a million different things, just for the sake of keeping busy. There is plenty to do around here without adding societal expectations to the to-do list.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year!
Hello Friends!
So, sadly, Rogue Zahmbie Chickens was a failed blogging attempt. Not because I wanted it to fail, but because when dealing with me, we are dealing with a sometimes very worn out, tired Mama! The good news, however, is that things are still going exactly the same way and so I'm still sometimes very tired and worn out! Good News? Of course! I'm worn out and fatigued because my family is active and healthy and there is a whole lot of work that goes into doing things the way we do them. With that said, I'm in a much better place now with priorities and activities (I've begun to say "no"! Don't tell anyone!) and am committed to making this work.
Now down to business... HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray for God's blessings on each of your families and each of your lives! I hope this year sees health and contentment covering each of you!
I'm not much of a resolution-maker. Last year, my "resolutions" included things like "Not getting frustrated with the boys and saying "because I said so..." in response to them"... that worked for the most part, but I think the first "Because I told you to..." came out of my mouth around January 3rd or 4th. (OOPS!) Its not something I say frequently, but sometimes....ah, yes... I'm human. Last year's other resolutions included things like eliminating red food dye (happy to say we did this and the boys consume ZERO red dye when they're with me... LOL, Daddy's not quite as on top of it as I am...) and raising and growing as much of our own food as possible. Basically, my list last year was a list of things that I was already doing and I was setting myself up for success in my resolutions. This year, I think I will continue to do the same! Here goes:
* In 2011, I promise to beat myself up whenever I say something stupid.
* In 2011, I promise to get angry with myself when I feel I'm falling short
as a mother and wife, which will ultimately lead to me being frustrated and
lashing out at a loved one.
* In 2011, I resolve that I will read into every little word people say and make
myself slightly sick to my stomach worrying about what they think of me, my
parenting skills, my children (and their behaivior, manners, education, etc.)
* In 2011, I resolve that I will step on toes and offend others in the course of
my daily life.
* In 2011, I will harbor resentment and guilty feelings and not share them with those
I love. I will, further, allow these feelings to fester and bubble over and not
confront or deal with the issue.
Sounds like I can TOTALLY accomplish these things, huh?
I hope that your resolutions are healthy and productive and not an action of self-punishment. My "resolutions" are, obviously, actions that I am working on but still lean toward. Let's embrace the new year as a time to be kind to ourselves. It is too easy to fall into the same old pattern of feeling guilt, shame and anger and then allowing those feelings to take over without dealing with any of the issues in our lives that continue to make us feel negative emotions. I am going to continue to work on dealing with issues that arise head-on and working through things so negativity doesn't keep on rearing its ugly head. What do you need to examine in your life, what kind of self-punishment are you perpetually doling out to yourself? It is time to let those things go and time to get on with our lives! One day at a time, one baby step at a time toward a less negative world starts with me.
So, sadly, Rogue Zahmbie Chickens was a failed blogging attempt. Not because I wanted it to fail, but because when dealing with me, we are dealing with a sometimes very worn out, tired Mama! The good news, however, is that things are still going exactly the same way and so I'm still sometimes very tired and worn out! Good News? Of course! I'm worn out and fatigued because my family is active and healthy and there is a whole lot of work that goes into doing things the way we do them. With that said, I'm in a much better place now with priorities and activities (I've begun to say "no"! Don't tell anyone!) and am committed to making this work.
Now down to business... HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray for God's blessings on each of your families and each of your lives! I hope this year sees health and contentment covering each of you!
I'm not much of a resolution-maker. Last year, my "resolutions" included things like "Not getting frustrated with the boys and saying "because I said so..." in response to them"... that worked for the most part, but I think the first "Because I told you to..." came out of my mouth around January 3rd or 4th. (OOPS!) Its not something I say frequently, but sometimes....ah, yes... I'm human. Last year's other resolutions included things like eliminating red food dye (happy to say we did this and the boys consume ZERO red dye when they're with me... LOL, Daddy's not quite as on top of it as I am...) and raising and growing as much of our own food as possible. Basically, my list last year was a list of things that I was already doing and I was setting myself up for success in my resolutions. This year, I think I will continue to do the same! Here goes:
* In 2011, I promise to beat myself up whenever I say something stupid.
* In 2011, I promise to get angry with myself when I feel I'm falling short
as a mother and wife, which will ultimately lead to me being frustrated and
lashing out at a loved one.
* In 2011, I resolve that I will read into every little word people say and make
myself slightly sick to my stomach worrying about what they think of me, my
parenting skills, my children (and their behaivior, manners, education, etc.)
* In 2011, I resolve that I will step on toes and offend others in the course of
my daily life.
* In 2011, I will harbor resentment and guilty feelings and not share them with those
I love. I will, further, allow these feelings to fester and bubble over and not
confront or deal with the issue.
Sounds like I can TOTALLY accomplish these things, huh?
I hope that your resolutions are healthy and productive and not an action of self-punishment. My "resolutions" are, obviously, actions that I am working on but still lean toward. Let's embrace the new year as a time to be kind to ourselves. It is too easy to fall into the same old pattern of feeling guilt, shame and anger and then allowing those feelings to take over without dealing with any of the issues in our lives that continue to make us feel negative emotions. I am going to continue to work on dealing with issues that arise head-on and working through things so negativity doesn't keep on rearing its ugly head. What do you need to examine in your life, what kind of self-punishment are you perpetually doling out to yourself? It is time to let those things go and time to get on with our lives! One day at a time, one baby step at a time toward a less negative world starts with me.
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